god's punishment on man wasn't the great deluge... it was the invention of impossible mothers

my mom and i LOVE to watch love story. it has a predictable plot, awful lines, and equally horrible actors to top it off. but we love to grab a box of tissues and watch the couple run slow motion through central park in snow. well, one of the character tells the other, "love means never having to say you're sorry." at 14, that sounds incredibly romantic and you hold it as absolute truth... but wait wait wait. who thought of this load of bull?

the reason i say this is, i know for a FACT that my mother loves me. i mean, she's my mother! but if she doesn't apologize soon, i swear... i'm going to explode!

maybe love story's credo only applies to romantic love?

that can't be either. if paul had never apologized for his occasional fuck ups, i'm sure i would have ditched him... as i expect he'd do the same for me.

anyway...
my mom and i have this strange love-hate relationship. we talk to each other every day on the phone... and i mean EVERY day. there's a reason why i kept the local 310 area code for my cell phone (it's a local call for her. she can pick up any phone to reach me). but we have these massive, blow-out, armageddon type fights once in a while that gets me in the worst kind of disarray. i feel physically nauseous and horrible after it. maybe it's the fact that we scream and yell over the phone for hours... maybe it's that we always pick the middle of the night to pick these fights. i don't know.

ever seen the trailers for the divine secrets of the ya-ya sisters? (whatever the real title is).
the daughter and the mother get so frustrated they bang the phone against the table.
that's how i feel... except i wish i were banging my head against a very hard brick wall instead.

my mother seems to blame the latest outbursts on my relationship with my "perfect american boyfriend." is she smoking something? uh... hello. we've been fighting like this before any american boyfriend came along. perfect or not.

it's SO infuriating! the woman is either in cahoots with some divine being, or she's evil!
even after the carnage and the mayhem, i still pick up the phone every day to call her.

i need a husband. so he can take the phone away from me when i'm about to hit speed dial #1 at any given time of the day.