i was very excited to hear the weather forecast for this weekend. 60!!!!
except
the entire city of ithaca was blanketed in fog...... and 60???? i don't think so.
i'm so sick and tired of the cold weather. it's almost april. it's time for spring to arrive.
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
gaining a mother
my cousin sandy recently posted about her changing relationship with her mother.
maybe it's a trend... maybe it's the age... maybe it's the distance... i don't know... but i've definitely noticed a big shift in my relationship with my mother as well.
i'd always thought when i reached this age, our relationship would become more strained. we never saw eye to eye what was the best course for my life... and that especially applied to my choice of men.
so understandably, i was freaked-scared-out-of-my-life to tell her that i was in love. really in love.
i mean... this was monumental. i'd NEVER discussed my feelings regarding the men i've dated with my mother... EVER. i somehow managed to get through a high-school sweetheart and a college boyfriend without ever mentioning ONCE the word love to her. in fact, i don't think i ever affirmatively confirmed that i liked these boys. we had an understanding -- we just didn't talk about these things.
so that afternoon in august, while she and i shared some chicken nuggets and coffee at mcdonalds (this is our tradition. we're so ghetto), i tried to tell her. i mean... if this was "it" she HAD to know, right? i'd just spent the entire summer with a man i was sure that i would spend the rest of my life with... and i still hadn't told her that i loved him.
i trembled... i ate silently... i stirred that sugar into the coffee to death before i could begin to speak. and when i finally did start speaking, i burst into tears. i was bawling/wailing in the middle of mcdonalds trying to make out the words, "i really love him, mom."
i thought she'd totally flip, but she didn't.
she looked at me and said, "i know."
i know????? wha??????
it was a breath of fresh air. more like a gust.
like coming out of the closet or something... except not.
maybe my reluctance to speak with my mom about my romantic life WAS the cause of the weird rift that was between us all those years, because after that day in mcdonalds we became friends again.
like we had been when i was 7 and boys weren't an issue.
but better... with coffee and talk of weddings.
i am so glad that my mom embraced the idea of paul in my life. she's even encouraged by it. she's glad that i've found love. she's glad that i found it with him. i'm glad that she's glad =)
i can't help it. i'm her little girl, and i want to make her happy.
the other thing about moms?
i really like my future mom-in-law.
i have to admit, i initially found her incredibly intimidating.
she's got it all -- she's beautiful, she's smart, she's capable, she's social...
it was like having martha stewart as your mother in law. except she does everything that she does for free... and for fun... without annoying the people around her.
and i was scared.
but i quickly warmed up to her. i think our respective chattiness really helped the relationship go forward. now we talk, we laugh, we joke, we call each other on the phone... and yesterday afternoon, she told me that she was fond of me. it was so sweet... and i never knew the word "fond" would have such a great of an impact.
my own mom had a great relationship with my grandmother - her mother in law. i guess i always wanted a close relationship like theirs, and it looks like i'm going to get one.
i'm very excited about the future. i feel very lucky. i have one lovely family who's loved me all my life so far... and i'm going to get another equally lovely family who i hope will love me from here on.
maybe it's a trend... maybe it's the age... maybe it's the distance... i don't know... but i've definitely noticed a big shift in my relationship with my mother as well.
i'd always thought when i reached this age, our relationship would become more strained. we never saw eye to eye what was the best course for my life... and that especially applied to my choice of men.
so understandably, i was freaked-scared-out-of-my-life to tell her that i was in love. really in love.
i mean... this was monumental. i'd NEVER discussed my feelings regarding the men i've dated with my mother... EVER. i somehow managed to get through a high-school sweetheart and a college boyfriend without ever mentioning ONCE the word love to her. in fact, i don't think i ever affirmatively confirmed that i liked these boys. we had an understanding -- we just didn't talk about these things.
so that afternoon in august, while she and i shared some chicken nuggets and coffee at mcdonalds (this is our tradition. we're so ghetto), i tried to tell her. i mean... if this was "it" she HAD to know, right? i'd just spent the entire summer with a man i was sure that i would spend the rest of my life with... and i still hadn't told her that i loved him.
i trembled... i ate silently... i stirred that sugar into the coffee to death before i could begin to speak. and when i finally did start speaking, i burst into tears. i was bawling/wailing in the middle of mcdonalds trying to make out the words, "i really love him, mom."
i thought she'd totally flip, but she didn't.
she looked at me and said, "i know."
i know????? wha??????
it was a breath of fresh air. more like a gust.
like coming out of the closet or something... except not.
maybe my reluctance to speak with my mom about my romantic life WAS the cause of the weird rift that was between us all those years, because after that day in mcdonalds we became friends again.
like we had been when i was 7 and boys weren't an issue.
but better... with coffee and talk of weddings.
i am so glad that my mom embraced the idea of paul in my life. she's even encouraged by it. she's glad that i've found love. she's glad that i found it with him. i'm glad that she's glad =)
i can't help it. i'm her little girl, and i want to make her happy.
the other thing about moms?
i really like my future mom-in-law.
i have to admit, i initially found her incredibly intimidating.
she's got it all -- she's beautiful, she's smart, she's capable, she's social...
it was like having martha stewart as your mother in law. except she does everything that she does for free... and for fun... without annoying the people around her.
and i was scared.
but i quickly warmed up to her. i think our respective chattiness really helped the relationship go forward. now we talk, we laugh, we joke, we call each other on the phone... and yesterday afternoon, she told me that she was fond of me. it was so sweet... and i never knew the word "fond" would have such a great of an impact.
my own mom had a great relationship with my grandmother - her mother in law. i guess i always wanted a close relationship like theirs, and it looks like i'm going to get one.
i'm very excited about the future. i feel very lucky. i have one lovely family who's loved me all my life so far... and i'm going to get another equally lovely family who i hope will love me from here on.
an ode to my printer...
i have a printer.
i've named it rex.
why rex?
because rex reminds me of a trustworthy pet.
and my printer is definitely trustworthy.
and i love it.
i love rex.
i've had it since i was 16.
it was top of the line then... like everything once was.
of course... now it's an old relic but i still haven't replaced it.
why replace it?
it prints just as fast as paul's new-ish ink jet.
right now, rex is churning out a 25 page texas case.
working so hard, my rex.
wow... this is a really disturbing entry about my printer.
i think i need sleep.
i've named it rex.
why rex?
because rex reminds me of a trustworthy pet.
and my printer is definitely trustworthy.
and i love it.
i love rex.
i've had it since i was 16.
it was top of the line then... like everything once was.
of course... now it's an old relic but i still haven't replaced it.
why replace it?
it prints just as fast as paul's new-ish ink jet.
right now, rex is churning out a 25 page texas case.
working so hard, my rex.
wow... this is a really disturbing entry about my printer.
i think i need sleep.
Monday, March 22, 2004
some thoughts on a sleepless night
i've been on another insomnia kick. i go through these phases where i just don't sleep very much at all. it's an ungodly hour... yet i find myself still in front of the computer screen. i find it a little hopeless that i'm officially caught up with past providence episodes (note: providence airs at 2am... monday morning). it's even more hopeless that the show that i am caught up with... is providence.
granted, i watch a LOT of bad tv... but providence? oh well. i'll take what i can get. no cable = not a whole lot of variety. HOWEVER, exciting exciting time for television right now. basketball and next weekend (drum roll please) is figure skating. such a weird pair of things to be excited about... but i am excited nonetheless.
i am a LITTLE bummed that the final four is on the saturday before my birthday... which means NO ONE will want to go out. bummers. maybe i'll just have to schedule the birthday thing at a sports bar??? hey. as long as there is a full pitcher of something alcoholic in front of me at all times, we'll be good to go.
random thing #2...
i've always been a nail biter. it's a nervous habit. i think i've mentioned this before on some other entry, but a teacher told me you have to do something for 21 days for it to become a habit...and the only way you'll break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. in order to maintain respectable looking nails, i've replaced my biting habit with a compulsive need to repaint my nails. i think i repaint them (even if it's the same clear coat) every 2-3 days. i don't even own that much nail polish. or nail polish remover. which reminds me. i need to go to walgreens. i am excited, though, that i've now kept my long (groomed) nails for a couple of months now. the only downside is that they're still a tad too long for me to play any complicated runs correctly on the piano. i'm seriously considering cutting my nails again. especially now that come may 18th, i'll have constant access to a piano.
which brings me to random thing #3...
i've mentioned that i've picked up the piano again.
i hadn't really played much since i've come to law school. well, since freshman year of college really. i had my final piano lesson in may 1998. after that, it was all fun and games. i fooled around with show tunes and pop songs for 3 years... but didn't seriously play until paul showed me his lovely steinway at his house (and how lovely it is).
i'm glad that playing is still a source of enjoyment for me right now.
i hope it won't drag me down again.
my new favorite composer right now? debussy. why? i'm not sure. it reminds me of a really pretty monet painting. i've picked up some ravel too.
paul says it's too atonal for him. THEN i played him some REALLY contemporary stuff, and he changed his mind. =)
there used to be a time when i only played REALLY angry rach or beethoven. i mean... i used to play until my fingers would crack and bleed. i even broke the strings of a piano in the piano studio during a lesson once. i think that's when my teacher recommended i do crunches before sitting at a piano. he said it'd be good for my core... and my aggression.
i guess i've grown up a little?
random thing #3
paul and i've become snobs. major snobs. maybe we've always been snobs.
it really hit us when we were at the wine store.
how old are we? 24? and we're already snobby about wine? like we can afford to be snobby about wine. we, apparently, like a very particular kind of german wine... and there are only like 500 cases floating around in the country right now. how did we know it was such a rare find? it was only $10 a bottle. we're praying daily that the vineyard is releasing more. soon. and at a constant rate. forever and ever and ever and ever.
we're also really snobby about music.
and food.
and service.
and recently, we've become snobby about our education (but only because people force us to be... but i still feel bad about it).
......
and then i remind myself that i still enjoy taco bell.
and that we sometimes do go to mcdonalds for a real meal... like lunch. or dinner.
and i don't mind buying clothing at target. because an isaac mizrahi is an isaac mizrahi. target or not.
and then i feel much much better.
random thing #4
i'm REALLy sick of snow.
random thing #5
i miss my mom.
and california sunshine.
and the pacific ocean.
and the good korean grocery stores.
and the good korean restaurants.
and cheap sushi.
and tex-mex.
and paul's breadmaker.
and paul.
which brings me to random thing #6
i really HATE this long distance relationship thing.
people ask me, "oh... how do you do do it?"
and i always reply, "it's not so bad. we make efforts to see each other fairly often."
you know what?
it IS that bad.
and it sucks. a LOT.
the worst is when you go out with your friends (who are, of course, all paired up with their siginificant others) and they're so lovey dovey...and you sit there sipping on your soda... looking away like you're trying to watch the game... and all you can really think about is how the person that's SUPPOSED to be sitting by you is hundreds of miles away.
it sucks my soul dry.
or overflows it with emotion. i'm not sure.
it's like... we live our relationship in these little pockets of intensity. i wonder what will happen when we have YEARS together... and we're not forced to cram in a relationship in a weekend.
i'm sure my cell phone bill will go down.
that's a plus.
okay... it's now 5am.
i've read every news story there is to read.
i've read everyone's updates on their blogs and livejournals.
i've caught up on all my soap opera storylines.
i've eaten 2 mrs. fields chocolate chip cookies (which i'm not supposed to eat -- they have milk chocolate in them, and i think they might be making me sick).
i've also had about 50 edamames to balance out the cookies. also, i was craving salt. i needed a salt-carrying medium.
oh yeah. my cell phone is on the charger.
i can't read harry potter yet again.
i'd rather die than read insurance.
and ron popeil wants to sell me a set of crappy knives.
i think this entry needs to end.
soon.
maybe now.
ok.
now.
granted, i watch a LOT of bad tv... but providence? oh well. i'll take what i can get. no cable = not a whole lot of variety. HOWEVER, exciting exciting time for television right now. basketball and next weekend (drum roll please) is figure skating. such a weird pair of things to be excited about... but i am excited nonetheless.
i am a LITTLE bummed that the final four is on the saturday before my birthday... which means NO ONE will want to go out. bummers. maybe i'll just have to schedule the birthday thing at a sports bar??? hey. as long as there is a full pitcher of something alcoholic in front of me at all times, we'll be good to go.
random thing #2...
i've always been a nail biter. it's a nervous habit. i think i've mentioned this before on some other entry, but a teacher told me you have to do something for 21 days for it to become a habit...and the only way you'll break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. in order to maintain respectable looking nails, i've replaced my biting habit with a compulsive need to repaint my nails. i think i repaint them (even if it's the same clear coat) every 2-3 days. i don't even own that much nail polish. or nail polish remover. which reminds me. i need to go to walgreens. i am excited, though, that i've now kept my long (groomed) nails for a couple of months now. the only downside is that they're still a tad too long for me to play any complicated runs correctly on the piano. i'm seriously considering cutting my nails again. especially now that come may 18th, i'll have constant access to a piano.
which brings me to random thing #3...
i've mentioned that i've picked up the piano again.
i hadn't really played much since i've come to law school. well, since freshman year of college really. i had my final piano lesson in may 1998. after that, it was all fun and games. i fooled around with show tunes and pop songs for 3 years... but didn't seriously play until paul showed me his lovely steinway at his house (and how lovely it is).
i'm glad that playing is still a source of enjoyment for me right now.
i hope it won't drag me down again.
my new favorite composer right now? debussy. why? i'm not sure. it reminds me of a really pretty monet painting. i've picked up some ravel too.
paul says it's too atonal for him. THEN i played him some REALLY contemporary stuff, and he changed his mind. =)
there used to be a time when i only played REALLY angry rach or beethoven. i mean... i used to play until my fingers would crack and bleed. i even broke the strings of a piano in the piano studio during a lesson once. i think that's when my teacher recommended i do crunches before sitting at a piano. he said it'd be good for my core... and my aggression.
i guess i've grown up a little?
random thing #3
paul and i've become snobs. major snobs. maybe we've always been snobs.
it really hit us when we were at the wine store.
how old are we? 24? and we're already snobby about wine? like we can afford to be snobby about wine. we, apparently, like a very particular kind of german wine... and there are only like 500 cases floating around in the country right now. how did we know it was such a rare find? it was only $10 a bottle. we're praying daily that the vineyard is releasing more. soon. and at a constant rate. forever and ever and ever and ever.
we're also really snobby about music.
and food.
and service.
and recently, we've become snobby about our education (but only because people force us to be... but i still feel bad about it).
......
and then i remind myself that i still enjoy taco bell.
and that we sometimes do go to mcdonalds for a real meal... like lunch. or dinner.
and i don't mind buying clothing at target. because an isaac mizrahi is an isaac mizrahi. target or not.
and then i feel much much better.
random thing #4
i'm REALLy sick of snow.
random thing #5
i miss my mom.
and california sunshine.
and the pacific ocean.
and the good korean grocery stores.
and the good korean restaurants.
and cheap sushi.
and tex-mex.
and paul's breadmaker.
and paul.
which brings me to random thing #6
i really HATE this long distance relationship thing.
people ask me, "oh... how do you do do it?"
and i always reply, "it's not so bad. we make efforts to see each other fairly often."
you know what?
it IS that bad.
and it sucks. a LOT.
the worst is when you go out with your friends (who are, of course, all paired up with their siginificant others) and they're so lovey dovey...and you sit there sipping on your soda... looking away like you're trying to watch the game... and all you can really think about is how the person that's SUPPOSED to be sitting by you is hundreds of miles away.
it sucks my soul dry.
or overflows it with emotion. i'm not sure.
it's like... we live our relationship in these little pockets of intensity. i wonder what will happen when we have YEARS together... and we're not forced to cram in a relationship in a weekend.
i'm sure my cell phone bill will go down.
that's a plus.
okay... it's now 5am.
i've read every news story there is to read.
i've read everyone's updates on their blogs and livejournals.
i've caught up on all my soap opera storylines.
i've eaten 2 mrs. fields chocolate chip cookies (which i'm not supposed to eat -- they have milk chocolate in them, and i think they might be making me sick).
i've also had about 50 edamames to balance out the cookies. also, i was craving salt. i needed a salt-carrying medium.
oh yeah. my cell phone is on the charger.
i can't read harry potter yet again.
i'd rather die than read insurance.
and ron popeil wants to sell me a set of crappy knives.
i think this entry needs to end.
soon.
maybe now.
ok.
now.
found out something about myself...
betty sent a new test!
it was a test to see what kind of a lover i am, and the test has characterized me as "the wild rose."
here's the addy to the description:
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=2&o=1&h=152
but here's a copy of the text anyhow...
Colorful, but unpicked.
You are The Wild Rose.
Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.
You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.
Your exact opposite:
The Dirty Little Secret
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master
The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.
"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."
it was a test to see what kind of a lover i am, and the test has characterized me as "the wild rose."
here's the addy to the description:
http://www.okcupid.com/personality?type=RBLD&g=2&o=1&h=152
but here's a copy of the text anyhow...
Colorful, but unpicked.
You are The Wild Rose.
Prone to bouts of cynicism, sarcasm, and thorns, you excite a certain kind of man. Hoping to gather you up, he flirts and winks and asks you out, ultimately professing his love. Then you make him bleed. Why? Because you're the rare, independent, self-sufficient kind of woman who does want love, but not from a weakling.
You don't seem to take yourself too seriously, and that's refreshing. You aren't uptight; you don't over-plan. Romance-wise, sex isn't a top priority--a true relationship would be preferable. For your age, you haven't had a lot of bonafide love experience, though, and this kind of gets to core of the issue. You're very selective.
Your exact opposite:
The Dirty Little Secret
Deliberate Gentle Sex Master
The problem is them, not you, right? You have lofty standards that few measure up to. You're out there all right, but not to be picked up by just anyone.
"You're never truly single as long as you have yourself."
Friday, March 19, 2004
customer assistance in aisle "my head", please
i noticed that i hardly ever write about the things that are actually racing through my mind.
obviously, my head isn't completely empty. i'd like to think that there's actually some quality thoughts floating around there somewhere... but lately, these thoughts have become extremely personal to me. i have no desire to share them. or know how to share them.
this is a new phenomenon for me. i'm usually very open with my thoughts and feelings. i don't keep things closed up. very straight-forward. no guesswork needed. i'm hardly what you call a "private" person. life's too short for me to sort out what to be public, what to be private... and then you start getting into the semi-private... family-only private... the boyfriend-only private... the friends-only public, etc.
i don't deal with any of that stuff.
.
.
.
.
at least that was the way things USED to be...
why am i so hesitant to share?
the newest explanation that i've come up with is that i'm actually overwhelmed by my thoughts.
i have no organizational mechanism for them.
how can i verbalize these thoughts when i can't even figure out where to put them in my head?
it's starting to spill over into my emotions, too.
out of my head... into my actions, my words.
spilling like a very full cup of tea.
out of the cup... onto the saucer...
probably off the saucer too.
boy-o-boy.
i'm constantly surprising myself, because i never know how i'm going to feel the next minute.
no... the next second.
it's incredibly frustrating. i hate surprises.
i hate surprises so much that i even despise unwrapping unknown gifts (birthdays, christmas, anniversaries).
does that mean i'm a control freak?
i don't think so... because being a control freak would mean i'm ACTUALLY attempting to control things in my life, right?
what the hell am i trying to control?
i've given that up years ago.
i'm very confused.
someone stop pouring!!!!!!!
i need a break from myself.
obviously, my head isn't completely empty. i'd like to think that there's actually some quality thoughts floating around there somewhere... but lately, these thoughts have become extremely personal to me. i have no desire to share them. or know how to share them.
this is a new phenomenon for me. i'm usually very open with my thoughts and feelings. i don't keep things closed up. very straight-forward. no guesswork needed. i'm hardly what you call a "private" person. life's too short for me to sort out what to be public, what to be private... and then you start getting into the semi-private... family-only private... the boyfriend-only private... the friends-only public, etc.
i don't deal with any of that stuff.
.
.
.
.
at least that was the way things USED to be...
why am i so hesitant to share?
the newest explanation that i've come up with is that i'm actually overwhelmed by my thoughts.
i have no organizational mechanism for them.
how can i verbalize these thoughts when i can't even figure out where to put them in my head?
it's starting to spill over into my emotions, too.
out of my head... into my actions, my words.
spilling like a very full cup of tea.
out of the cup... onto the saucer...
probably off the saucer too.
boy-o-boy.
i'm constantly surprising myself, because i never know how i'm going to feel the next minute.
no... the next second.
it's incredibly frustrating. i hate surprises.
i hate surprises so much that i even despise unwrapping unknown gifts (birthdays, christmas, anniversaries).
does that mean i'm a control freak?
i don't think so... because being a control freak would mean i'm ACTUALLY attempting to control things in my life, right?
what the hell am i trying to control?
i've given that up years ago.
i'm very confused.
someone stop pouring!!!!!!!
i need a break from myself.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
and on another note...
you know that feeling you get when you like someone so much it almost hurts?
yeah... that's cool too.
yeah... that's cool too.
afternoon naps make me happy
i took a nap today.
i think naps should be mandatory for everyone.
it just makes the world feel good.
that...
and a cookie.
i think naps should be mandatory for everyone.
it just makes the world feel good.
that...
and a cookie.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
test test
so my friend betty takes all kinds of crazy tests and posts them up on her livejournal site...
so i thought i'd take this weird "what flavor are you" test.
i'm not so surprised by the result...
so i thought i'd take this weird "what flavor are you" test.
i'm not so surprised by the result...
 I tashte like Alcohol.Heh. Heh. I taste like beer. I like beer. Buy me a beer. I'm not drunk, I can drink plenty without... What was I saying? Beer. What Flavour Are You? |
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
nice little random tidbits
it's been a while since my last posting, i know.
perhaps i've been feeling uninspired lately... i don't know. but i thought it was time to sit back down in front of the computer and vent about random nothings once again.
the first thing...
lately, i've been trying to deal with the notion of being "cordial." it used to be that people around me, if not outright nice, were at least being cordial to each other. that doesn't seem to be the case any more. it's not even a local (in the geographical sense) issue either. i'm noticing this phenomenon everywhere! is it something in the air? are people just really wrapped up in their own lives that they are unwilling to even be... civil? is a "hello" really going to kill you? i don't know...
secondly,
what's the deal with the knee-jerk reactions lately?
i get the "every action has a reaction" principle, but is it really necessary to find the most opposite severe reaction???
what happened to moderation? to reason?
thirdly,
what do you do when you're so severely bored with yourself, you're ready to scream until your head blows up?
pick up a new hobby?
it's a serious problem.
i never thought it could happen -- being bored... with MYSELF.
also,
i've picked up playing the piano once again. well... at least when i'm around the piano.
i'm a little saddened by the fact that i'm having to relearn pieces i've mastered when was 14.
and they're really really difficult to relearn. my muscles have forgotten how to stretch effectively.
it's completely utterly absolutely positively frustrating.
lastly,
i'm attending my boy's seminar. i have no idea what he does for a living, so i thought this would be a good opportunity to learn. granted, i'll have NO idea what he's talking about even with the seminar. what the hell do i know about viruses anyway? but i think the effort is warranted. maybe when people ask me, "what does he do?" i can answer back intelligently, rather than the staple, "oh... he's a scientist. he works with genes and viruses... or something or other. i don't know."
okay... not lastly.
one more thing.
i've been on this weird wedding kick. maybe it's because EVERYONE and their second and third cousins are getting married (or at least getting engaged lately). i know that i'm basically engaged... just without the formal proposal and the formal ring. so i should be happy, right?
it's not that i'm unhappy. i am happy.
i'm extremely happy.
i guess i'm just jealous.
and i can't control jealousy.
i have no self control.
eeeeeeeeeeeeek.
okay... i'm going to stop writing before i dig a bigger hole.
umm... so ONE more tidbit.
i've discovered that i need to just cut some people out of my life altogether because they constantly bring me headaches and frustrations.
i'll work on that.
okay. i'm really done now.
until next time...
go go gadget close-the-blog-window!
perhaps i've been feeling uninspired lately... i don't know. but i thought it was time to sit back down in front of the computer and vent about random nothings once again.
the first thing...
lately, i've been trying to deal with the notion of being "cordial." it used to be that people around me, if not outright nice, were at least being cordial to each other. that doesn't seem to be the case any more. it's not even a local (in the geographical sense) issue either. i'm noticing this phenomenon everywhere! is it something in the air? are people just really wrapped up in their own lives that they are unwilling to even be... civil? is a "hello" really going to kill you? i don't know...
secondly,
what's the deal with the knee-jerk reactions lately?
i get the "every action has a reaction" principle, but is it really necessary to find the most opposite severe reaction???
what happened to moderation? to reason?
thirdly,
what do you do when you're so severely bored with yourself, you're ready to scream until your head blows up?
pick up a new hobby?
it's a serious problem.
i never thought it could happen -- being bored... with MYSELF.
also,
i've picked up playing the piano once again. well... at least when i'm around the piano.
i'm a little saddened by the fact that i'm having to relearn pieces i've mastered when was 14.
and they're really really difficult to relearn. my muscles have forgotten how to stretch effectively.
it's completely utterly absolutely positively frustrating.
lastly,
i'm attending my boy's seminar. i have no idea what he does for a living, so i thought this would be a good opportunity to learn. granted, i'll have NO idea what he's talking about even with the seminar. what the hell do i know about viruses anyway? but i think the effort is warranted. maybe when people ask me, "what does he do?" i can answer back intelligently, rather than the staple, "oh... he's a scientist. he works with genes and viruses... or something or other. i don't know."
okay... not lastly.
one more thing.
i've been on this weird wedding kick. maybe it's because EVERYONE and their second and third cousins are getting married (or at least getting engaged lately). i know that i'm basically engaged... just without the formal proposal and the formal ring. so i should be happy, right?
it's not that i'm unhappy. i am happy.
i'm extremely happy.
i guess i'm just jealous.
and i can't control jealousy.
i have no self control.
eeeeeeeeeeeeek.
okay... i'm going to stop writing before i dig a bigger hole.
umm... so ONE more tidbit.
i've discovered that i need to just cut some people out of my life altogether because they constantly bring me headaches and frustrations.
i'll work on that.
okay. i'm really done now.
until next time...
go go gadget close-the-blog-window!
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