late night tv rocks

night's fallen... the world is asleep... and i'm alone with my computer and late night tv. bravo... lifetime... some conan, maybe even a little azn. not an unusual weeknight. i like to update when i'm alone with the television. the background noise helps me think that i'm not entirely alone, but alone just enough to gather my thoughts for a post. since paul needs his full eight hours of sleep every night (and i'm a chronic insomniac), i find my alone time at this time of night. i like it. it's a different kind of "alone" than the time i spend in my office... or at home while paul's at work. it might be a daylight thing. who knows why or how my psyche works, really.

paul's not feeling well this week. i thought he had a fever today, but he insisted on going to sword practice anyway. when he got back, i forced him into the shower and got him some hot thai food. poor guy went to bed before 10, exhausted. i felt so bad seeing him so miserable. that's how he must feel when i'm sick in bed too. i just hope he feels better in the next couple of days before he has to drive 3 and a half hours home this weekend.

anyway, it's been a while since i made a meaningful post. the wedding and unemployment's taken over my life. friends call me after months of non-contact, and i have nothing to say but, "oh... you know. still jobless. planning the wedding. nothing much over here." i guess i should feel fortunate about my uneventful life right now. relationship's going well - nothing new to report. wedding planning's going well - no real drama. i'm jobless, but i'm not on the streets. i'm actually pretty happy. so how can i complain? i do wish that paul and i can dig ourselves out of poverty soon. we make do with his stipend (i'm not sure how), but i'd love to buy a cup of coffee or lunch without feeling guilty or thinking about my bank balance. i'd love some extra money to put toward the wedding and the honeymoon.

okay. i'm being interrupted by im's. guess i'm not quite as alone as i thought i was =) which is okay with me. i miss my friends.
will write more later!