a good deed...

i did a good deed today.
except i feel horribly about it.
why?
because the world's messed up - that's why.

today, as i walked to my car from the school, i saw a woman with a baby sitting out on the sidewalk... in the rain.
i saw her, just as she saw me... and when she pleaded with me to give her (and her infant) a ride to some shelter, i couldn't refuse.
how could i?
there was a howling baby.
and she was literally howling.

so while i knew that i was doing a good thing, i couldn't help but wonder when the woman was going to pull a gun or a knife and ask for all my money.
even as i felt good knowing that the mom and the child will no longer have to sit soaking wet out on the street, i couldn't shake the feeling that i was doing something horribly wrong.

well... not wrong. maybe just stupid.

yeah - i'm okay now.
yeah - i didn't get hurt.
yeah - i do feel good about my good deed.
but what if, right?

i can't shake the what if's.
i'm not sure if i should feel fulfilled, relieved or guilty.