i miss bodies.
no... not that way.
but i actually miss having people around me.
the other day, serena called me and asked me if i was sick. i realized i was sounding hoarse over the phone because i hadn't opened my mouth to speak to anyone all day (and this was like 3 in the afternoon).
now for those of you guys who know me, you know how much i love to talk.
you also know how much i love to have my friends around me.
so you can understand why this transition to ithaca has been incredibly difficult.
the other horrible thing about this whole setup is i feel that even with the friends i DID have, i'm starting to lose grasp of those relationships too. i know that people are moving on with their lives, especially now that we're all out of school... but it's really sad to see that out of all the people that used to surround me on a constant basis, only a couple of them really seem to have kept that connection with me.
i guess this is what happens when you grow up?
you replace a community with a person and be content?
i mean... i'm happy with my relationship. but that's the whole point of having friends, isn't it? to fill the voids that a relationship can't, and vice versa?
i really think i'm not meant to spend my days alone.
i guess i should feel lucky that i'm realizing very early that the housewife gig won't work for me.
1 comment:
I remember when I first moved to Japan. I missed you and the life I had in college so much. But, even before moving, once I graduated, it just wasn't as easy to see my friends like it used to be and I missed the college life. In some ways, being in Ithaca was harder because I was seeing people live that life everyday, you know?
This past year, what with working so hard, I have lost touch with so many of my friends, the ones here in Japan most of all, ironically. I have been trying to renew those, but its hard.
But yeah, I totally understand how you are feeling.
And no honey, you were never meant to be a housewife. BUT, it's just a little longer I promise, and then you and Paul can move somewhere where there will be a lot more opportunities than little old Ithaca... and you will start to miss that place.
Smooches honey!
Aya
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